Friendship with Sel

Generations nowadays are luckier than our oldies. Just imagine talking real-time to someone across the sea now compared to our oldies who are sending letters to their friends abroad and waiting for the reply after a week or worst, months!

I've been an online chatter freak at one point in my life admittedly. By the time i got bored doing it, I already gained friends and one of them is Sel from Turkey.

Our friendship started when he was finishing his bachelor's degree. English was not their primary language but he has to write his defense papers. I thought him some basics about English, correct him when he's wrong (he's actually encouraging me to do that) and defining words that he wants me to define for him.

The help even extended to his love life. There was a time that he and his girlfriend broke up and got back after sometime. He asked me if giving her a necklace is fine and I told him yes and a lot more worries from him. We lost communication for a while as he has to serve his military duty.

A year after, while updating my blogs, he suddenly appeared on the Yahoo Messenger asking me how am I doing. He told me that he is now a CPA. He got his Masteral's degree after serving in the military. And most especially, he still have the same girl in his life. After seven long years, he said.

That's good to know. But what's touching of all is when he told me he considers me as her teacher [I feel old!). Not just in English but to a lot of things. And he even said that he is grateful for our friendship. That I am still there and that I still remember him after all these years.

He is just one of my many friends online. Nowadays, its possible to have a friend that you haven't seen yet but already established a connection with.

I hope you have one, too! :)

Trust

This is one of my most cherished poems (or can you call it a poem? I don't know). It was given to me by one of my most cherished (again?) friend...


T R U S T
by: PROS


When you start to hate yourself
Remember those who love you
When you feel afraid


Remember those you made brave
Whenever you are weak
Remember those you made stronger


And whenever you start to doubt yourself
Remember those who believe in you.

Under The Tuscan Sun

The movie's caption is" Life offers you a thousand chances. All you have to do is take one". Its a very enlightening movie. The caption already tells you one ingredient in life.

One other thing I learned in here is that all of our wishes came true. Only, sometimes it is granted to you in a different package. The character in the movie (a divorced woman) wishes that one day there will be a wedding in her own house and a family to live there as well. In the end, her neighbor's wedding was done in her garden and her friend, who became a single parent, decided to stay with her along with the baby.

And I thought...oh yeah! Well, I guess you need to be specific with your wishes :)

To Commit or not to Commit

It is sometimes irritating for me to receive text messages that relays nothing. But there are those that I kept..those that touched my heart as soon as I read. One of it is this one:

"Having been commited to love someone means losing the opportunity of having others to love you so be sure that the person you are commited to deserve your love and worthy of your sacrifice!"

There will come a point in our life that somebody or others will push us to love or marry someone especially when they are beginning to worry about your biological clock. Because of what happened recently, the chance to marry the one that I really love passed by. I am a bit less worry about it but the people around me who claims that they are just after my welfare says that will there be someone else to come after him? What if he is the last one?

Do you worry?

I don't. Well.... a little -- :)

I am more afraid of commiting myself to someone whom I don't love. It kills me just to think that I am already commited to this man and the one that I am destined to love with comes along. I am not an advocate of divorce or annulment.

Some will just settle for "siya na lang" or "he was there when I needed someone most".

I don't want to marry someone just because I need him. I want to marry someone because I want to, I need to and most of all I love to. Who wants to settle for anything else? Definitely not me.

On Being an Unwed Mother

When I was in high school, I have a lot of different things that's going on in my mind. One of them is skipping the marriage part . I just want a baby of mine. I asked myself where did this idea came from. Coming from a very normal and complete family the answer is I don't know.

This became a truce between me and my friends that before we reach 30, we should already have a child of or our own. Kind of weird but that's us.

As time passes by, life takes us all on a different course. I decided I will wait until I got married. I told myself -- to hell with the truce. One of us had to abort her baby and the other one recently found out that she's pregnant. She decided to go on with the pregnancy. She is not thinking of settling down with the father of the child.

Eventhough I truly believe in the sanctity of marriage, I also believe in finding your own happiness. If the child has been "created" out of mistake, don't make another mistake of forcing yourself into marriage if you think it will do you both no good. My point of view is that if you're after the sake of the child, think long-term. If ever you chose to get married but the child will just grow up in a very dysfunctional family, it will not bring any good results for the child either.

Parenting can still be achieved even if you're not in a complete family just make sure that you two are both commited on supporting and loving your child.

Only You Knows Yourself Best

What do you usually experience after a break-up? The usual "maybe you were wrong in some way..", "you could have done this to save it..." or something like this: "you already have the best and you let it slip away".

These are voices that's inside you hear or worst, from the people who knew the relationship from start to end.

In any case, I knoew clearly what I want. That's why it ended. In my head: It has to end. Because it's the rightest thing to do.

People may interfere your thoughts at times like these. Which has happened to me. And these are the things I did:

I listened
I tried to understand
And then I weighed things

In the end, I told myself what you did was right. I learned to listen, understand and analyze things. If only they are right, I can accept it. In my case, I can confidently say, I am correct.

So when you reached this decision, just listen to the upcoming events or comments then move on with your life is the next best thing to do. This is to make room for new emotions/ feelings and trash the old ones. Always remember, there is always something new in store for you.

Temptations

There are a lot of temptations during the first days, weeks or months of your break-up. For me, one of those is going back to him. There are nights you wish that the person behind the ringing phone is him and you would be highly disappointed when it's not him [although you are already expecting it's not him].

But there are nights when you are no longer expecting a call and he would call. At the start, it's just the nonsense hi's, hello's or the usual how are you now. And as the conversation goes, he would say maybe our relationship is worth another try. And when I say no, he would say, maybe we can still be the best of friends.

Oh, how I wish we can give it another try. But at the back of my mind, it's not worth it anymore.

Friends?

I have nothing against couples being friends after breaking up. But at least give me some space to recover. I cant't just act normal as if nothing horrible after three years. And all of these would roll your head off thinking why can't you just stop thinking about these things and just give it another try?

Temptations, temptations and temptations... These are the moments when you wish that a wrong is just the rightest thing to do. But that's a BIG NO.