It's Hard When You Are In-Love

Everyone wishes to be in-love but when we are in-love, we find it so hard to deal with it.

All is Fair in Love

Recently, it is. With the gay marriage being approved in the US. I wonder who really pushed this bill. It is no longer a topic of God, morality and religion now. Modern age is really on top now.

It is all about truly loving someone and being with someone you really want to be with without being scrutinized.

It is all about fairness. Any one can marry the one that you really love. Regardless if you are of the same sex.

I have nothing against third sex that is why I am happy with this news. Used to be the battle of the sexes is just Adam and Eve. Now it is the other one. What is the name of the third sex then?

This is the fun side. But here in the Philippines, what would really be the future of this bill to push through? My friend say, she thinks, it'll be divorce first before we can truly approve this kind of bill.

Decisions That We Made

My office mate got dumped because of another girl that is working in our company as well. The same old story. Surprisingly,the first girl asked me for some advice. And surprisingly again, she kind of digested what I said to her. So, before the day ends, she decided to really set the score with the guy. That he can never go back to her anymore the same way he did when his previous relationships didn't last.

I told her that even how much we love a person, we had to let them go sometimes. This is not for the good of the relationship but because it is for the good of you. We are losing our self-worth at times just to give everything we've got to a love that we don't want to lose But is it really worth it? How would you know if you are just going through the chain?You are just getting the same ending because you are always doing the same thing. What if you go the other way? What will you find? You might not be happy with the result. But you have to admit, it will free you from some misery and hurt.

I asked her if she can go through all the pain again. She said yes because she loved him. Are you happy while you are hurting? There's the pause from her. I told her that you are happy because you are with him. No doubt about it. But why do you still feel miserable. Because in our decisions, we chose the wrong ones because that can make me happy but there's always the feeling of misery because something is not right with what we have done. It makes you happy but it is not the right choice.

But then she asked, if I chose the right decision, will I be happy? Probably, no. But you can gain a lot of things.Your self worth first of all. And most of all, I told her, the chance. The chance to love someone who is deserve your love back and who will treasure you more.

And there it goes, her smile. Actually, I can say her sweetest smile.

My Reflections

"There's always pain and disappointment when falling in love but continue sharing your love. because the more you love, the more you'll get to know yourself. Because, again, every person you love becomes your reflection."

To date, I had three relationships. I did not used the word failed with it but just "ended". For me, what I always tell somebody how did you cope up with it is "just think how good it was and not how long it was." I always look at the brighter side it brought to me instead of the depression.

My first, he was soooo much older than me. Well, at least what -- 7-8 years? I can no longer remember. But what's good about this guy is that he had the passion. When he said, i want to do this, he'll be doing it. And he said, don't rely on others to do it for you. Always start with yourself and seek help if only you need to. As I grew up, I learned to be independent.I am doing things on my own, solving things on my own [as long as I can], discovering things on my own. But I am no selfish. I just learned from him that as long as you can do it, do it first. If all else fails, it's time you seek help. But then, has to go to a different country and I am not yet ready to get married so we broke up.

The second one, he is always so understanding. He told me that its not good to heat things up more. When we are fighting, he always says, let's just talk about this some other time. Not now that you are so furious and angry. And we really talk about it and it always ended good. After that, one of my colleague says, you can always treat a worst situation with calmness. How do you that? Well...

Now, the third one, he always said I hate money! Yeah he hates money but he has a lot of money. He told me, I work not for money but I work because that's what I like to do. he doesn't want wasting money. It just usually went straight to the bank and his business and once in a year to his hobby -- going to different places away from his own country. i still have to learn how to hate money like him you know but then one thing I really like about him is that it's true money can make you happy. You can use it to find your true passion in your life. One day, after receiving my 13th month pay, I enrolled in a graphics designing class which I have been longing to do and just months ago, I went to this place which we called Sagada and it feels heaven!!!

All of these may have cause me pain but never mind the pain. It's part of our life. just think of happy thoughts just like Peter Pan. :)

Finding Mr. Right by Big "O"

While waiting for my turn in the hospital, I decided to buy a National Geographic magazine and it tackles all about love. One thing that catches my attention is this: "A woman unconsciously uses orgasms as a way of deciding whether or not a man is good for her. If his impatient and rough and she doesn't have the orgasm, she may instinctly feel he's less likely to be a good husband and a father. Scientists think the fickle female orgasms may have evolved to help woman distinguish Mr. Right from Mr. Wrong." [excerpt from National Geographic Feb. 2006 edition]

My friend usually said that you won't know you're really compatible until you have sex with your boyfriend. As she said,sex is very important in a married life so if you're not compatible in that stage even before when you were still not married,where do you think your marriage will go in the end? Alright, she's an advocate of PMS and I am not. But in my head, all of these women who said this, how many men had they sex with? Even if the two of you are good with it why most of them break up in the end? why do they keep on hopping from one relationship to another and doing PMS? Again, maybe, I'm sorry, I'm not really an advocate of PMS and this is just my POV. No need for violent reaction. I respect other's opinions.

Just because one man is giving you the satisfaction he will already be a good husband and a father? For once, I had this huge, big crush with a hollywood actor. He looks mature, loving and I really think he will be a good father [and very hot, too!]. And so he got married. But then, he was televised beating his wife and shouting at his kid on the phone swearing.You may think I'm a bit shallow but can't we just start with emotional first before the big O in finding Mr. Right?

I think like a kid most of the times. Because kids has an easier way of explaining things that bothers them. Lemme think like a child on this topic, For me, if you already find Mr. Right [but not using the way to find him by having an "O"] and the only thing that's preventing you from saying "it's a very wonderful relationship" is that you're not good at "that", then just talk it out. Things like "I like it when we... but i would like it best [with winking] if we do it this way [showing something with winking again]. How about that?" [with winking again]!

Again, my disclaimer, this is just my POV. [with winking]

Loving Someone So Much

While travelling back home with a friend from a party, he poured his heart out about his girlfriend. There was a point during the conversation that he mentioned he asked the girl is it so wrong to love you so much?

As for most of us women, of course yes. That can be an assurance of fidelity, I guess. And only fewer men nowadays can sincerely ask you that because that's how they are very sure of what they feel for you. Of course, we all know men to be polygamous.

But as for me, anything that is too much is bad as well as anything that is too less is not alright, too. I was so surprised to hear that but I was not surprised when the girl got a cold feet from the question and that is according to him. Loving someone so much can be a sign of obsession already. I like the idea of my man who has his heart only for me knowing that he loves me but my man telling me this, I might say slow down. Knowing you love me is too sweet already for me but don't overdo it.

I don't know as to how much is so much. Most girls do this but it is so unusual for a man. Loving someone so much is still pretty okay as long as you don't forget one very important thing and that is to love yourself.

Timeless Piece

I keep all the emails that i like and has touched my heart a lot. One of them is this piece:

Are you a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime?

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or alifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will knowwhat to do for each person.

REASON:

When someone is in your life for a REASON. . .It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there forthe reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at aninconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bringthe relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desirefulfilled, their work is done.The prayer you sent up has been answered.And now it is time to move on.

SEASON:

When people come into your life for a SEASON it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you anexperience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach yousomething you have never done. They usually give you anunbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real!

But, only for a season.

LIFETIME:

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas ofyour life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

Stop here and just SMILE.

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
And dance like no one is watching.

~Author Unknown~"

On Being an Unwed Mother

When I was in high school, I have a lot of different things that's going on in my mind. One of them is skipping the marriage part . I just want a baby of mine. I asked myself where did this idea came from. Coming from a very normal and complete family the answer is I don't know.

This became a truce between me and my friends that before we reach 30, we should already have a child of or our own. Kind of weird but that's us.

As time passes by, life takes us all on a different course. I decided I will wait until I got married. I told myself -- to hell with the truce. One of us had to abort her baby and the other one recently found out that she's pregnant. She decided to go on with the pregnancy. She is not thinking of settling down with the father of the child.

Eventhough I truly believe in the sanctity of marriage, I also believe in finding your own happiness. If the child has been "created" out of mistake, don't make another mistake of forcing yourself into marriage if you think it will do you both no good. My point of view is that if you're after the sake of the child, think long-term. If ever you chose to get married but the child will just grow up in a very dysfunctional family, it will not bring any good results for the child either.

Parenting can still be achieved even if you're not in a complete family just make sure that you two are both commited on supporting and loving your child.